Sunday, July 30, 2006

Heads I Win, Tails You Lose

Sorry guys, but I'm not going to "blog" about your random Rob and/or Hugh memories. Here is another picture of sweet jowlage for all to enjoy. So, sure, Rob drove his car into a ditch at the track chicks' house like 10 years ago, but look at those jowls!!!

Andrew says I should link to the origianl pictures cause it is in good taste, or blog etiquette, or whatever, so here you have it: Some Dogue de Bordeaux site

Friday, July 21, 2006

Modest Beginnings? Hardly.

Let's take a closer look! The development of the complete Jowl Package is a fascinating and beautiful evolution. What looks like nothing but a giant nose at birth soon expands and grows to hint at the extent of the jowls to come in your future. Learn to recognize the signs!

Be careful not to rush the experience in anticipation and impatience for Full Developed Jowlhood, however promising the youthful jowls in your life appear. Each step is a blessing! Revel in them! Each time you detect a new wrinkle, another furrow, a deepening valley, rejoice! Take the time to witness the jowls developing before your very eyes. They grow up so fast!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Full Body Rolls

It is remarkable to witness an entire being that is composed of life's most precious material: the jowl. Such a being creates a state of inner tranquility that is rarely surpassed. Breath deeply, and imagine the possibilities.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Too much?? Never!

Can you stand it?? I mean LOOK at those things. Only an experienced and dedicated Jowl Enthusiast should even dare to approach such massive wrinkling, hanging folds. Beyond Low Hangers, these defy all logic.

WARNING to the Jowl Enthusiast risk taker: if you are about to shove your face into these bad boys, hold your breath, as the drool could cause a fatal drowning.

I bow down to the Neapolitan Mastiff, cleary the forever King of Jowls.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

The Definition of Jowl Education

I hate to peak so early on in the blogging game, but what could emphasize my point better than this decisive example of loose fabulous hanging skin? Striker, truely, has ULTIMATE JOWLS. I am proud to know him.

(These are the quintessencial LOW hangers.... just grab on and enjoy the ride!)

Monday, July 10, 2006

The Anatomy of the Jowl: A Lesson

Here we have an exquisite example of the full jowl experience. Below you will learn everything you need to know to start enjoying the jowls in your life to the FULLEST today!

Jowl Polyps: The core to any fulfilling jowl relationship. The meat 'n potatoes of the jowl world. Where the novice, up and coming enthusiast should shove their face to dive straight into jowl enjoyment.

Neck Dewlap: A nice large portion of loose and squishy skin for those rough and tumble days. More important for the overall jowl aesthetics than for the satisfaction of the true jowl aficionado and sensualist.

Lip Over-Hang: Again, more for aesthetics. Watch out for drool with the low hangers.

The Sweet Spot: This is it folks. The height of the jowl experience, where squishy meets furry and magic happens. Best realized in a progression of sensitivity to touch, starting with a swipe by of the finger tips or the back of the hand, moving upward towards the nose, then, if you are ready, move to your cheek and let the sweet spot glide across your skin. Finally, to absorb every tickle, every hill and valley, use the lips. You won't regret it.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Jowl Worship: full face jowlage

It has to begin somewhere, and so, it begins here, with The Deebs (Sheba).

It has come to this

It seems today I have reached that special level of boredom that causes one to create a blog. Stay tuned for pictures of my dog.